Blue Colored Glasses

Posted by Cracks Let The Light Come In , Tuesday, October 26, 2010 11:24 AM

Is there such a thing as blue colored glasses? I think there must be. And I think I've been wearing them for the last few weeks. I haven't felt this way in SO long. I feel oppressed and so down. Everything bothers me and everything sadness me. My heart is so heavy and I feel burdens from everywhere. Not just mine, but I feel as though I am carrying everyone else's...even though they didn't ask me to. But I was just sitting here thinking that it's all a matter of perspective. I've been down in the dumps and have felt pelted from every direction for weeks. But why? The only reason I can think of is because Satan wants to get a hold of me because I'm about to do something HUGE with my life. This doubt and fear that has glazed over my joy and passions is all Satan's lies. I see my friends going through the same thing, and I want to yell, "WAKE UP! GOD HAS SOMETHING HUGE PLANED FOR YOU! DON'T YOU SEE IT?"... But... I don't see it. And I'm the one sending out support letters and giving the talk every time someone asks me about my internship. People keep telling me they see joy and they see my passion for what God has called me to. I want to know what they see and why I can't see it. I can recognize it in other people and can point it out to them and have the hardest time with why they are doubting because I KNOW they are going to do beautiful and marvelous things if they only took off the blue colored glasses.


But who am I to talk? I am such a hypocrite! I talk all day about my passions and cry about them all night because I'm so confused and hurting. I want it all to end, but following Jesus isn't supposed to be easy. I signed up for hardships, persecution, doubt. But I also signed up for endless love, mercy and grace. In the midst of my tears in the middle of the night, I am being held. And I know that my friends are too. Oh, how I wish they could see it. I wish the doubting could end. For all of us. It's everywhere! Satan wants a stronghold. And for some of us, he is getting it. But I'm tired of his lies. And as much as it hurts and as hard it is, I'm going to resist him. He is NOT my God. He knows that, and that's why he's trying so hard right now to oppress me. It's been working for the last few weeks... but not any longer.

No more blue colored glasses.

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