Cracks Let the Light Come In

Third Time is the Charm?

Posted by Cracks Let The Light Come In , Thursday, September 3, 2009 10:44 PM

Wow.

Today, in chapel, the entire service was about communion. That makes this communion number three.. I have a friend who likes to joke around about the 'frying pans' in my life, but truly... I feel like I am still winded from this one. I sat in my chair today, as in days past and chose not to partake. I wasn't disobeying or being lazy. I simply knew that by rising to my feet and placing the bread and the grape juice in my mouth that I would be taking for granted something that I have been over looking and walking over for too many years.
The last few weeks I have been learning so many new things about myself. I have found myself to be stronger, I have found beliefs that have just now surfaced.. I have become so brave. I have discovered parts of myself that I didn't think existed... That Emma Petitt that Brian told me to be when I was shipped off to Johnson over a year ago- I'm coming face to face with her. Life is scary. Life is not what what I ever expected it to be. My life has certainly had it's share of downs, but my life has also had beautiful and incredible moments of awe and wonder.

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." -Proverbs 17:22

I have been in casts for so long. And now that the molds are finally breaking free and coming off, although my bones are weak from lack of use, I'm getting stronger every day from every step I take. Granted, they are all hard steps. I have to trust the unknown. I have to trust people and things foreign to me. I have to trust this God that I know loves me above all else... but is the same God that I checked at the door when I went to live my life for a year without so much as uttering a sentence to Him.

"If all I had was one last breath
I'd spend it just to sing Your praise
Just to say Your name
If all I had was one last prayer
I'd pray it 'cause I know You're always listening" -You're There Casting Crowns

I used to live this way.. or at least have a mentality of wanting to. In these short few weeks at being back at Johnson, I have been SO challenged. It has been so good for my heart to be here.


(Insert really awesome closing sentence here).