Cracks Let the Light Come In

Apathetic.

Posted by Cracks Let The Light Come In , Thursday, March 25, 2010 3:02 PM

I'm almost too apathetic to type, but alas, I have found myself here again. My strength is wearing thin-emotionally and physically. My joy has faded and my laughter has grown quieter. No, I am not depressed, I am just in such a need of a break that I do not have time to have. With all of the commitments I have and all of the business of my life, I never stop going. If I do, it is to sleep-and that is never long enough. I am not writing this to complain. But, I truly need a break. The smile that is normally pursed on my lips has faded to "deadness" as Mr. Weaver called it yesterday in Choir. Oh, how I wish I wasn't going on that trip tomorrow. I need a break so terribly. And that is a break that I will not see.
My grandpa was in the hospital this past week and my grandma goes in on the 6th of April for yet another hip replacement. It's almost as if I am watching them slip away before my eyes, but I am miles and miles away. My heart is sad and almost no one knows. I've turned into the girl who doesn't talk about her emotions. When did that happen? My heart has been so heavy lately. My burdens, my friend's burdens, and truly, the burden that my heart is not in this country any longer. I have become so apathetic. I have become so angry. I have become so saddened. I hope and pray that God will break this stupid walled up heart of mine.