Cracks Let the Light Come In

Remembering

Posted by Cracks Let The Light Come In , Sunday, May 23, 2010 11:58 PM

Looking back a year ago, I was preparing to step foot inside of a country's borders that would forever change my life. I have always been the kind of person that says and then does. When I said I was going to Cambodia, I knew I was going: everyone else around me knew it too.
I have always been determined and have always felt strong. When I returned from Cambodia, I felt weak and shattered. I saw things and experienced things I never imagined. I prepared for my Cambodia trip by reading facts because truly, I couldn't relate to the experience stories. When I was there, I felt so small. Abduction, sin, prostitution and trafficking was all around me, and most days I felt more like a tourist than a missionary. I fought with myself and with God everyday. I fought with my teammates inside of my head because I heard selfish comments about it being too hot or not liking the food. Upon our departure, I heard people wanting nothing more than to go home or to eat American food. I couldn't imagine leaving the people I'd come to love-who loved us so wholly. Our mission had just started, and we were leaving.
At one point in our trip, we were driving in downtown part of the capital. People around me were talking about wanting a massage. Places that give massages in Cambodia are more often than not, brothels. At that point, I saw a girl standing on the street in front of a brothel. In Cambodia, men pay under five dollars to "stay with a girl". Women sell their daughters for 100 dollars. I would've given every penny I had to jump out of the bus and save her. She was right there. So close. And I don't think anyone else saw her because they were too wrapped up in themselves to look out the window.
Less than a minute later, I saw another brothel with no less than ten girls.

I could write on, but I feel it would be too depressing.