Cracks Let the Light Come In

Tea Time with Kim Leung

Posted by Cracks Let The Light Come In , Thursday, August 13, 2009 11:16 PM

I have been drinking a lot of tea lately, and have realized that it may be the root of my sleeping problems. I can no longer blame my problems on jet lag, for it has been almost a month since I have returned. I have decided to write to see what comes out of me. Also, I have been listening to a song called, Rend by Jimmy Needham on repeat recently since Wendy gave me the CD.
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The song reminds me of someone, even though it isn't her story, or, it shouldn't be since she is only a child. Kim Leung (Sounds like Gim-lee-in, which is why she was known as Gamille to all those who were in Cambodia with me.) Of all of the pictures I took during my time in Cambodia, this is the single photograph that brings me to tears every time. There is so much behind this little girl. The picture that you see is not her being tired or a sad moment that she had. Our first day there, and really, up until our return and our last day in Cambodia she was quite and reserved. She clung to one of my teammates, Amy, for dear life. Only on the the last day we were there, after we had been gone for a week and had come back did I ever hear her laughter. Hers is the laugh that I hear in my head. The smile that I see that drives me to spread the knowledge about people in situations like hers.

Kim Leung's family has been ravaged by AIDS. Her father had it and passed it to her mother and Kim Leung's sister died at the age of five, a year before 'Gamille' was born. Now, in Cambodia, there is no middle class so, the poor are really, really poor. Kim Leung's mother didn't have enough money to take her daughter to get an HIV/AIDS test to find out if she was positive or not. I thought that the testing would be a lot of money because her mom couldn't pay for it.. but it is only three American dollars. -A fortune to them, I am sure! I felt so convicted about this whole situation and the fact that Kim Leung didn't know if she even had a chance at a normal life, I gave her mother money for the HIV test and for food for however long it lasted them.

I know I brought this up in a recent post, but when her mother got on her knees in front of me and thanked me, at first I wanted her to go away because I didn't want people to know what I had done.. But then, when Theara's sister told me Gamille's mom couldn't pay for the test because she didn't have a job because of the HIV... What I had done in one moment.. one sum of 40 dollars was enough to make a woman fall to her knees. I was overwhelmed by guilt, happiness, wonder.. I wanted to slap myself in the face for not reach down to her and embracing her. But we had many other hugs that I cherish so much.

When we left Phnom Pehn and went to the rest of our trip, I wondered the whole time if I would know by the time I got back if she was positive or not.. And, in my heart I knew she didn't have AIDS. When we came back to Phnom Pehn, I was talking with Theara's sister, and she told me that she was negative and that they were going to take her back a month or so later to make sure it was an accurate test. When I saw Kim Leung that night, I saw her as a different girl. She was laughing, talking, smiling! She was playing with other children, talking with them, playing with not just Amy, but others from our team.. it was a beautiful sight to be seen. She had life and zest.. and I do not believe it was just because we had come back. I feel like her life had started while we were gone. Her new life.

So, when I see this picture, so many things flood my mind.. and there is still a possible chapter to her storythat hasn't been written.. her mother could end up selling her into prostitution for money-but I don't think her mother would do that. Not the mother that I met. But, I could be wrong. We can only pray it doesn't happen through the good an incredible work that Kid's Club is doing to educate and prevent sex trafficking from taking more families victim.

Our lives are hard.. but others are harder. I have three dollars in change in my wallet right now, I'm sure. There are probably three dollars in our couch cushions. This little girl, as small and as young as she may be, has taught me that life is priceless and we are all created for something. Maybe.. maybe I was sent on that trip to give her mom that money.. I don't know. She would've been tested eventually. But I don't think her life would've started so soon.
No, I do not take the credit for her smiling and laughing and playing with the other teammates that were with me.. I spent time with her the first day and that was really it. But I am an observant person, and I watched her change from when there was the absence of truth and then there was the presence of knowledge.

I know in this small sized picture, you can't see it.. But when it's blown up.. a reflection of me is inside her eyes. Maybe that's why I cry every time. I didn't plan on doing it and didn't even know about it until I was back in the states. It's magical really. It's like.. Even in her sadness.. someone is there for her. And, you can't see that it's me. The camera is focused on her hands anyway. And I know that she probably won't remember me. But she remembers someone. She remembers 'her mom' which is not her birth mother. It's Amy that I've told you about.

Both of us risked that week. She risked with her time with Gamille, and I risked with what I had in my pocket. Both resulted in changing her life.