My life has changed SO much in the last month. I decided I wasn't going to Thailand in January, and am instead going to Guatemala in the summer, got a tattoo, got my hair chopped off and made all the arrangements to go back to school in less than a month. Out of all of these, the most disappointing one is my hair. Without all of my hair, I feel... cold. haha. Oh well. It grows. When I go back to school, I will be living by myself (since Audra moved in with Melanie in my absence). I'm going to do Tour Choir, and am 75% sure I'm doing the musical. I don't have to leave my team and my middle school kids from City Life.
Times are a Changin'. But I'm ready.
The title says it all.
Because of a few different circumstances, I will be moving my trip to Thailand from January-May to June-August. Of the reasons, the biggest is me not being ready emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I wrestled with God on this one and my hip has surely broken. I need time, and I will be seeking just that this semester. I will be returning to Johnson this spring and will complete this next semester there.
The donations that have already been received will go toward my trip in the summer.
I have peace about this decision, and don't exactly know what's going to happen this semester (since I wasn't planning on having this semester of school), but I know it will be for the best.
Thank you all for your support, it really has meant more to me than words can express.
Much gratitude,
Emma.
I am absolutely terrified that if I go back to Johnson in the fall, there won't be a place for me. People will be growing and changing without me. People will have experienced heartache, joy, laughter, memories.. things I won't be there for. I'm scared of being replaced. I feel like it would be easy.. people would fill the Emma gap with other people. Things change, you adapt. It's human nature. I don't know if I could handle coming back to an environment that is used to me not being around.
I don't want to be forgotten.
My whole life, I've yearned for acceptance, and I have it at Johnson. I fear that if I leave, I won't have it when I return.
I guess this is where faith comes in. I have to trust that God will provide me with the same incredible friends I've had the last year and a half. And if not? Then I will keep going.
